


Disher's Dream of Domesticity

by Konbini



Category: Monk (TV)
Genre: Bottom Monk, Disher has thoughts, M/M, Mentions Mr. Monk and the Kid, Mentions S03E16, Mr. Monk and the Three Julies, Pre-Slash, Randy's inability to have kids, S06E13, Top Randy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27056434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konbini/pseuds/Konbini
Summary: "I mean, he's crazier than you."The look on Monk's face when Randy says it offhand to him. The very first stirrings of dismay - of betrayal."- Grant. H-youGrant. Hugh Grant. You know, the actor?"
Relationships: Randy Disher/Adrian Monk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Disher's Dream of Domesticity

**Author's Note:**

> Monk likes Randy's music. It's canon, guys. Well, semi-canon. (From the book Mr. Monk is Miserable).

It's not unusual that Disher speaks before he thinks. That's pretty much par for the course. The thing of it is - is that Randy is comfortable. He's comfortable sharing his thoughts and yeah - maybe he does look a little foolish, maybe sometimes it does come back to bite him.

Occasionally, he feels real regret.

Natalie, Disher and Monk are watching the Captain work the perp from behind the two-way glass. Randy can still feel the itchy lace of the bra, can still feel the perp's phantom tears on his shoulder. Randy will be happy if he never has to cross-dress on a case again. Impersonating the man's mother was not fun - to say the least.

_I wish there were ten of them._

It's funny how Monk's 'safe' word had stuck when the others hadn't, maybe because it's such a strange phrase.

It's been a wild ride. Julie Teegers dropping dead around the city. Randy would be lying if he said he didn't feel some trepidation for Natalie's daughter. But it's all over now - the killer has been caught. The man had taxidermied his own mother, it makes Randy's skin crawl. He wonders if something similar was in store for the other Julies.

He's standing at the back of the room. Natalie nearly has her face pressed to the glass so when Monk turns to him she doesn't notice. Randy doesn't notice until Monk tugs at his shirt cuff. It's the first time that Monk has deliberately touched Randy - Randy's sure of it. The tug is light, Monk is ever so careful not to touch skin but the electricity between them makes the hair of Randy's arm stand up anyway.

Monk looks up at him with big dark eyes and tips his head towards the door. So of course Randy follows.

The whole exchange has left something of an impression - a strange fluttering in Randy's stomach. He realizes abruptly it's because it's what the woman he'd had over last weekend had done. She'd been sexy. A brunette. Tactile, touching him softly on the arm whenever she wanted his attention.

It's a little weird - thinking of that in the same context as Monk. Randy shakes it off.

"He's not the guy." Monk says once they're out of Natalie's range of hearing.

Which - is unfair really. After all they've gone through to catch the perp. So Randy argues a little. Monk's not completely infallible after all.

But even Randy should know better than to end with -

"I mean, he's crazier than you."

The look on Monk's face when Randy says it offhand to him. The very first stirrings of dismay - of betrayal. His brown eyes going liquid in a way that always makes Randy's stomach twist.

It must mean that he's learned something after all these years when he's able to backtrack quickly, think on his feet.

"- Grant. H- _you_ Grant. Hugh Grant. You know, the actor?" Randy spouts off, listing off what he's pretty sure is the whole man's career.

Monk doesn't call him on it. And furthermore he seems to accept it which is maybe one thing they both have in common. Easily mollified.

Randy blows out a quiet breath as he leads Monk to the car. Still, he feels bad about it. Monk looks a little delicate.

They investigate, just the two of them, and they crack the case. The husband, it's always the husband.

Randy is getting rather sick of it always being the husband. If he could just have a slice of that domestic life he'd never give it up, never complain, certainly never _kill_.

No, Randy would give anything to come home to a - well, a home. A warm, clean home. Dinner waiting for him. A wife to fuss over him, to tie his tie, to smile at him and moon over him.

He'd like kids but - it's not like Randy is in denial but he hasn't told anyone. What kind of man wants to admit they're shooting blanks? Besides, it's not like he has anyone lining up for the position in the first place.

All things considered Randy would be ecstatic to be a stepdad, or adopt.

Thinking of that makes him think of the little boy who had found the finger at the park. The tiny, chubby child who Monk had taken in - against all odds and the flabbergasted faces of everyone he knew, Randy included. Randy hadn't been that interested at the time. Sure, he always liked kids. He always thought he'd have some one day. Until he'd found out otherwise.

Randy remembers what Natalie had said - that it'd been so hard for Monk to give him up that it'd nearly made her cry. She said Monk had done it so that he wouldn't grow up like Monk, with Monk's idiosyncrasies. She'd been proud of Monk.

Kids needed to get dirty, there wasn't any doubt about that. But really would Monk have been the worst? His home was safe, warm. He would - _did_ \- love that kid. And he would have had Randy and the Captain around to get him into some mischief.

Randy could have been cool Uncle Randy who came around on the weekends.

It kind of all puts Randy in a melancholy mood.

The arrive in time to save a man's life. Randy watches Monk lurch forward to knock the rifle out of the officer's hands.

It's all cake, so to speak.

"Just because he's crazy doesn't mean he deserves...."

The words are faint and a little far but it's Monk who says them. Explaining why the innocent but crazy perp shouldn't be shot. It's not what Monk says but the _way_ he says it that makes Randy's heart ache in his chest.

He says it like he's talking about himself. Like he knows other people think he's crazy.

Randy feels even worse about earlier. It'd been - ribbing - really. Like all the guys at the station do. Monk is eccentric yes and some of the things he does or believes are...but he isn't _crazy_. It recalls the days when Randy had called him the defective detective. Not Randy's proudest moments and he's long come to regret them. Monk never brings it up but - does he think about it? Does he think that Randy does think he's crazy?

It feels like there's a yawning hole in Randy's chest that wasn't there before.

"Hey, Disher - your mom pick out your clothes or you just leave a red sock in the whites?" A cop guffaws at his pink shirt.

"Naw. He just decided he liked Mrs. Teeger's clothes too much to stop wearing them."

A few other cops gang up to tease Randy at the scene for having a pink dress shirt after his previous cross dressing adventure. It's not bullying or anything but a few good ribs. Maybe Monk doesn't see it that say, because after they drift on back to their squad cars Monk almost shyly approaches.

"You don't look girly." Monk says in a hushed whisper.

Monk's trying to make him feel better. It's actually very sweet. Randy feels touched, especially after...what he'd said to him. The incongruity of the situation, and the hilarity of it, make Randy's lips twitch meanly at the corners before he can school his expression again. He's never been very good at that though. Monk must take it for discomfort or embarrassment because he continues.

"You look...very manly." There's nearly a squeak on the last word as Monk eyes drift to Randy's open collar - before he quickly averts his eyes and brings a hand up to shield them, "Although you're...practically naked."

"I've been like this all day." Randy says.

He realizes it's true. Usually, he'd be more fastidious knowing Monk was there but after the sting Randy's been a little lackadaisical. His shirt collar is open four buttons. Usually Monk would be railing at this exposure the moment he saw it. But he's been with Randy all day - riding around in his car, touching his arm and speaking to him in the hall.

Whatever it means, it makes Randy smile accompanied by a little confused huff of breath. The hole in his chest eases. They're okay, aren't they?

"I'm sorry." Randy says and begins to do the buttons up.

Randy reaches in his jacket pocket and fishes out the tie. He gets it knotted before Monk's hands invade his space. Monk re-knots the tie and centers it, fusses about with it. It's domestic. The best part is that Randy knows he's forgiven when Monk presses his hand to Randy's chest one last time before withdrawing his hands.

Because he might straighten anyone's tie - but he wouldn't keep his hands on just anyone a second longer than he had to.

Monk's face is heated when Randy looks at him. The butterflies in Randy's stomach are back, shatteringly abrupt - like being on a rollercoaster.

"It was crooked." Monk sulks, flutters his thick black eyelashes, before walking off.

 _Huh._ Randy thinks to himself, cogs beginning to turn.


End file.
